Okay, this won’t be telling all but I hope some will find out more about me I think. Here come five things that shaped my life.
As a child I read a lot of books and was always imagining. Books were like a lifeline for me, where I could escape on magical adventures. I was always having ideas for poems, stories, songs and plays in my head. So that is where I got my love of writing from.
When I was 15, I was in intensive care on life support for 2 months. It took some work to get the images and sounds of the machines out of my head. I turned the trauma into an art piece at university – for which I got a B.
I only passed my GCSE’s with 3 c’s – and got E’s for maths and science having to resit. The rest of my grades were between C and E. And I scraped through my university degree with a 2-2. So while the others were celebrating their exam results, it was harder for me. How did this shape me? It reinforced my ideas of what I was good at, and what not so.
Having to face a lot of social rejection and bullying has made me more adamant to fight this. I have been quite vocal for disability and lgbtq inclusion, and challenging hate during my life.
When I was 13 I found a local am dram group and joined for the pantomime. Acting has always been something I absolutely love. What a surprise I got with a birthday in pantomime week though. I got pulled back on for the birthday song.
This is the first part of what I hope will be a beautiful story.
My name be Mary Carr, and am a sailor on the ship Magic, finest vessel that ever was. It roams the oceans and seas paying where needed but working as a cooperative. There be no captains on us, except we are all our own. And our duty? We protect those in need where we find them, and challenge the authorities that persecute and harm.
I first came upon the crew as an poor and starving orphan on the harbor quarter of a dirty city. It was a cold night, with winds screaming through the sails, and a thick fog rising from the waters. I couldn’t see a lantern or person around as I huddled under a ragged blanket on the docks. It felt far better out here than returning to the orphanage empty handed.
The docks had always been my hang out. Sometimes they were a good way for a girl to earn a coin. To add to this many of the sailors knew me well enough to not abuse my trust. In fact, some thought of me as their family. But these were hard working men, and when drunk you might see another side to them.
That night, as I heard the clock bell ring off our great cathedral I felt someone was watching me. “Who is there?” I called. No one answered “I’ve got a dagger in my pocket and I know how to use it” I lied. I stood up now, clenching my fists and standing, ready to fight.
After a second, I heard the kindest voice quite close to where I was taking cover.
“I believe you have such a thing, but I mean you no harm”.
“I can’t see you” I replied, “Let me see your face.”
“My face? Of course child, but then you would tell others of me. Although I am a kind soul who seeks to help those in need, I must be careful. There are many powerful men who would harm me” they said and stepped closer.
I saw in front of me a strong woman with a kind expression. Most important of all she had eyes that seemed to stare into my soul
“We have come to help you and offer escape but it must be quick” she said. “Our crew shall be gone by dawn to escape those who harm us.”
“Gone where?” “To find others in need. I promise you will not be harmed if you choose to come.” I thought this over a second as she scanned the warehouses for any strangers. “If I do not come, what will happen to me?” “The harbor master would torture you to find information on me. Is that a better way?”
I knew the harbor master’s cruelty well, though he often left me alone. That aided the choice which changed my life. “I am coming” I said. She held out a hand which I took, then led me down to the water’s edge. Just then the moon shone for a second and fog parted. That was the time I first saw the finest sailing vessel ever, and it had arrived by magic.
Lifting me up easily as a little doll, the lady placed me on board before jumping after. “We have our charge” she called to the others, “Now let us be gone.”
I am someone who is always dreaming. It probably comes from a childhood reading books in part, and writing my own stories too.
However boring, mundane, or too full of drama your normal life is you can slip away into another. It’s not just books either, it’s shows, films, songs that can take you to a place.
One thing I have noticed is there are very few stories with disabled characters, that aren’t part of a stereotype.
That’s why am working on some fairy stories with positive representation of disability.
If I asked others what their favourite thing about me was, I’d get different responses, and I am probably one of my worst critics.
Actually, I have two favourite thing s about myself – my energy for performing, and my creativity & imagination.
These are the things that have always stood out.
Without my writing stories from a young age my headmaster at junior school would never have seen my gift. He was so pleased that I got the school honour award. At the time I had just joined school late, after being put in a special needs class for a while. And I wasn’t like the other boys, didn’t have their energy. Discovering this gift meant I was recognised.
My writing and creativity won several other awards and recognitions during my childhood. Probably my proudest one was a large Blue Peter badge (which I sold ten years ago for £25 on Ebay).
With performing, I was able to show others what I could do. This still meant the other kids made life heck but also some of the teachers saw my gift.
So those are two of my favourite things about myself.
Beth writes 