Tag: mental health

  • Fighting the flames of hate

    Photograph of the author, Beth Birley
    This is me

    Watching all the hate and division around migrants takes me back to my youth and one of my greatest friends. Why am I telling this? I hope to show a different perspective.

    I grew up in an insular community, where the majority of people were white British and working class. So, I can still remember when I was 7 and a middle eastern family with three children moved in.

    Those kids were sent to the same primary school as me, and the boy was in the same class. This wasn’t a bad school, but it certainly had a lot of rough kids.

    Now, kids can sometimes repeat racist language because they hear it on telly or at home. You can imagine how some of the other kids reacted to these newcomers, I expect. Had it not been for my parent’s insistence that I should be his friend; I’d have joined the racist taunts.

    This kid got a lot of that and often answered with his fists landing him in trouble. But there was a place where he wasn’t being picked on, and that was our house.

    And we became really good friends who had each other’s backs and were always doing things together. The two of us were often up to some mischief.

    I was a small, nerdy kid who struggled with sports, and easy prey to a lot of school bullies.
    In fact, when I was 10, there was a particularly vile bully making my life hell.
    This friend would respond by attacking back. At the time I was a library assistant and used to let him hide from the mob there sometimes. I saw the hate and racism he got in that community second hand.

    Unfortunately, we were deliberately split up in secondary school, so our friendship wasn’t so strong. I watched him join the rebels on the school bus while I was trying to be a good kid.

    We parted ways after secondary school. I found out years later he had mental health problems and committed suicide through a note in the local paper. Could I have prevented it if I was still around?
    I like to think he could have talked to me in the dark times.

    What remains is a memory of when I witnessed what hate and intolerance can do.

  • Beth tells all – five things that shaped my life

    girl in pastel dress with hairbow sits on floor

    Okay, this won’t be telling all but I hope some will find out more about me I think. Here come five things that shaped my life.

    1. As a child I read a lot of books and was always imagining. Books were like a lifeline for me, where I could escape on magical adventures. I was always having ideas for poems, stories, songs and plays in my head. So that is where I got my love of writing from.
    2. When I was 15, I was in intensive care on life support for 2 months. It took some work to get the images and sounds of the machines out of my head. I turned the trauma into an art piece at university – for which I got a B.
    3. I only passed my GCSE’s with 3 c’s – and got E’s for maths and science having to resit. The rest of my grades were between C and E. And I scraped through my university degree with a 2-2. So while the others were celebrating their exam results, it was harder for me. How did this shape me? It reinforced my ideas of what I was good at, and what not so.
    4. Having to face a lot of social rejection and bullying has made me more adamant to fight this. I have been quite vocal for disability and lgbtq inclusion, and challenging hate during my life.
    5. When I was 13 I found a local am dram group and joined for the pantomime. Acting has always been something I absolutely love. What a surprise I got with a birthday in pantomime week though. I got pulled back on for the birthday song.

  • Mental health matters

    Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com

    If I was to ask about your mental health, what would you tell me?

    Some might say “I’m on the up”, others tell me “It’s not my best day”.

    Whichever you are, our mental health matters. It is also important that we talk.

    According to Mind

    • 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem of some kind each year in England .
    • 1 in 6 people report experiencing a common mental health problem (like anxiety and depression) in any given week in England.

    What does this mean? That many people are struggling with mental health in UK, and I include myself among them.

    The other side to the issue is there is still tremendous stigma about having mental health problems. Some people think it’s still okay to disparage another person for having depression, or anxieties.

    So be aware, ask for help and support each other.

    Some useful resources are linked below

    action for happiness – for courses in resilience and mental health

    Samaritans – 24 hour phone line

    Don’t Suffer in Silence

  • I’m not a victim – a poem

    I wrote this as a way of addressing how disabled people are treated. We are often looked down on, seen as victims or vulnerable, and easy to bully.

    Inspirational life quote created using scrabble pieces
    Photo by Alesia Kozik on Pexels.com

    I’m not a victim, I come back fighting,

    And I can pulverize the persecutors,

    I’ve eaten bullies for breakfast before,

    And if you dare degrade me, I will destroy.

    And I’m not a charity case for carers,

    I’m a human being with heart and hope.

    I’ll burn bridges before you cause harm,

    So don’t patronize me, I’m not pathetic,

    And if you think I’m thick, then fluff off.

  • The Elephant in the room- Disability and mental health

    The Elephant in the room- Disability and mental health

    Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com

    It’s time to talk about another big issue. Don’t worry though, not all the news is bad. Did you know people with disabilities have a higher chance of developing mental health issues?

    decorative image of hand trying to grasp a bright light
    Photo by Luca Nardone on Pexels.com

    This data comes from disability charity, Sense. You can see more about Disability and mental health – Sense

    In 2023, we asked people with complex disabilities about their health and wellbeing, including questions about their mental health. We found that:

    • People with complex disabilities are four times as likely to say their general health is bad or very bad (25%) compared to the general public (5% according to the 2021 general census). 
    • On average, people with complex disabilities have lower happiness levels (6.02) compared to non-disabled people (7.45), according to figures from the Office for National Statistics).
    • Those with complex disabilities have higher average rates of anxiety (5.09) compared to non-disabled people (3.12).

    Additional research also shows that:

    • 30% of people in the UK live with one or more long-term physical health conditions, over 26% of which also have a mental health problem.
    • 70% of disabled people say that social isolation affects their mental health and wellbeing.
    Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

    Personal Talk

    I’ve certainly found disability adding to my struggles in life, or is it down to social barriers?

    Being disabled has left me feeling like a burden on others and unsure of my abilities. I don’t choose to be like this but it is my reality.

    go outside for mental health, the issue for me is having somewhere fun to go. I have found it difficult to make friends or find community locally because am so different to others.

    Yes, there are people who value you and consider themselves friends, but can’t relate to me or my life. There is help though.

    Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com

    Self Care

    There are lots of ways people can care for and support themselves. What works for some may not work for others.

    Many people will say going out and being in nature helps them. The issue for me is having somewhere fun to go. I have found it difficult to make friends or find community locally because am so different to others.

    I use other ways to care for myself. These include watching cartoons, gaming, getting myself a treat, watching a movie and writing/ drawing/ creating.

    Find what works best for you.

    decorative image of rainbow and clouds

    Resources

    • GP/ NHS app – if you are struggling it is best to get in touch. There are waiting lists for support, but each council has some available for free. You could also get social prescribing through them.
    • Wellbeing apps like Headspace and Calm help with practicing mindfulness. There are also phone journals to document thoughts.
    • Samaritans – this charity runs a 24 hour mental health line
    • Action for happiness – this group offers a wide range of online resources, and run courses across the UK.
    • Mind – one of many mental health charities operating in Britain
    • Specialist counselling for disabled people

    The bottom line to act on here is to reach out, and self care is not weak.

  • Overcoming Shadow Thoughts: A Guide to Resilience

    Overcoming Shadow Thoughts: A Guide to Resilience

    Decorative image representing a thought
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    That sounds like a hero’s quest, am I right? … it is one we can all do though. You see, am referring to the shadow thoughts/ or what Action for Happiness call thinking traps, which affect our resilience.

    Decorative image of letters spelling out anxiety
    Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

    What does that mean? It refers to thinking patterns that leave us feeling hopeless, worthless or, despairing. When they grab hold we can feel there’s no way out, so let’s look at them more.

    One I personally battle with is a feeling that I will always be alone. It is very far from reality, but in my head it cries out. When am calm though, I can show evidence which contradicts it.

    Action for Happiness list the main thinking traps as

    • Blaming ourselves – believing that everything is our fault
    • Believing this is permanent – feeling that what is going on can’t be changed
    • Believing it will affect other areas of our life – If a problem is impacting one area, there is a fear it will spread to others
    • Blaming others – believing that others are causing us problems or difficulties
    • Black or white viewpoint – interpreting events as all bad, or all good, no in between
    • Mind-reading – assuming we know what others are thinking or feeling
    • Mislabeling – believing that we or others are one thing on the basis of a single or narrow situation.
    • Shoulds – having a fixed ideal on what should happen, or what you should have
    • Magnifying or minimizing – overplaying or underplaying what something means, how important it is or how likely it will happen.
    • Seeing our emotions as truth – believing all emotions are a true representation of what is happening.
    • Catastrophizing – believing the worst will happen even if it may not do.
    graphic image of a rainbow in the clouds

    How many of those have you felt? If you are like me quite a few but all is not lost. We can beat these traps without bloodshed.

    When you feel those things, try to write down all the evidence which contradicts them.

    So, let’s go back to my case which I mentioned at the top. My main contradictory evidence is that I have a supportive family, other people who value me. I also have had people who wanted to date me, and can go out to find other social groups. Further evidence is my virtual friends on social media. They are the ones I don’t see often (or at all).
    And finally, someone else is always going through a similar journey so we are never truly alone.

    When you feel those thoughts try to challenge them by yourself, or with others. There is no shame in asking for help.

  • What is Accessible Content?

    A question mark made of tiny buttons on a yellow background.
    Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

    Let’s start with what access means first.

    Many people in the world can achieve some things they want to, but not all. And sometimes that is down to lack of access.
    Google defines access as “the means or opportunity to enter or approach a place” but that is simplistic. To me, access also refers to permission to use a resource or take in information.

    A stop sign  on a highway, referencing blocked access.
    Photo by Mwabonje Ringa on Pexels.com

    In short there are different types of access, and different needs. Sometimes it’s about being getting into a place, as the definition suggests.

    As a person with learning disabilities, and neurodiverse status this is how I see access.
    With access, I can reach the same goals and outcomes, as everyone else.

    Hand reaching to lightbulb, symbolizing access is reachable.
    Photo by Luca Nardone on Pexels.com

    Wouldn’t it be perfect if everyone got the same education, jobs, housing, and community.
    (Spoiler alert -if that sounds like a fantasy it is one but society could change one day. For now, the pursuit of access is a reality.)

    Picture of blue sky with words Future coming through it
    Photo by Tara Winstead on Pexels.com

    What happens when you don’t have access? You can’t get to the same places or do the things that others can. This is the reality of life without access. To highlight this point let me tell you my own story of getting work as a disabled person.

    Photograph of the author, Beth Birley

    After I graduated university, it took 6 years to get a job. To get there meant having to be put in a disabled box in the end. As someone who would much rather fit in it felt soul destroying. I had to concede it was the only way.  This disabled box though was a specialist employment agency that got me my first proper job.


    Between university and getting a job I did temp work for a bit through an agency. One of the most devastating experiences was when the agency sent me to do an admin for a company. I thought I was getting everything right but half an hour later I was sent home. Can you imagine what that feels like?

    So now you perhaps get a bigger picture on why access is important. Let’s move on to accessible content.

  • Bitter voices- a poem of dealing with your demons

    I once chose to be liked,

    But only found rejection,

    And bitter voices in me

    Screamed like wild banshees.

    They wailed all my anxieties

    And I had nowhere to hide,

    I tried to trust in my worth

    But their tempest was louder.

    I wailed back but no use

    For their voices drowned me,

    With messages of guilt, pain,

    And how we’ll never belong.

    Then, I learned a new trick,

    To help placate their pains,

    I wrote down counter truths

    Of the good things I have done.

    They still aren’t truly silent now

    But I can calm their storms,

    For I have found strength inside

    Even when it seems I have nothing.

  • You matter

    I know this sounds a bit redundant, right? How do I even know you?

    But here’s what I do know – everyone matters.

    It’s hard to see this with our own eyes when we’ve been fed a lot of negativity and rejection, but it is true.

    Even if you feel you aren’t achieving anything, you still matter.

    I’ve seen a lot of the dark places where anxieties wreck the brain. I am still working my way through dark areas while others get along fine. Deep down, the message is there like a gentle whisper in the back of my mind, that I matter.

    And that’s why I say you do too. We all matter, and none of us are alone as we feel.