Beth writes

Tag: nhs

  • Astrid’s story – Domestic abuse trigger

    Caution – this story details a disabled person being a victim of domestic abuse. If the material is disturbing for you please scroll past.

    Stop sign illustrating a barrier
    Photo by Mwabonje Ringa on Pexels.com

    Astrid didn’t like having carers, needing extra support to keep things tidy. But of all the carers she had, Emma, was sometimes the worst.

    Learning disabled woman having breakfast with her carer.
    Photo by Cliff Booth on Pexels.com

    Emma was lovely sometimes, but other times there was a wailing banshee inside her. She’d explain the nasty side as trying to support Astrid to manage without help.

    Whenever they fell out Emma could also sweet talk her way back into Astrid’s favor.

    Decorative image of one object giving heart to another
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    And because Astrid often felt worthless, and helpless, she didn’t realise that she deserved better. In fact, Astrid was far from helpless, but that didn’t stop the voices saying otherwise. Astrid could be really good at some things, but she didn’t see things the way others did.

    Scrabble letters spell out anxiety
    Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

    It came to a head though when Astrid’s mum started trying to take control of what was happening.

    Emma didn’t like that, cause Emma was trying to rewrite the contract and give herself more power over Astrid.

    So the fights started with Emma trying to pressure, and Astrid’s mum to control. It was up to Astrid to end it.

    At first she was won over by Emma and sided with her for a while. But Mum came back in strong, and showed her the contract that already existed for Emma.

    The problem was Astrid felt ashamed standing up to Emma. She had to do it though. This was the only way.

    Stop sign illustrating a barrier
    Photo by Mwabonje Ringa on Pexels.com

    One day, Astrid saw Emma’s dark side come out again and said “You’re fired.”

    Emma tried to plead, turned on the charm, but it didn’t work. Astrid could see what was going on plainly. She sent Emma away, and let her Mum help with hiring the next carers. It wasn’t full independence, but it was better than how Emma had behaved.

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    The Facts

    The story above is based on real events, but all names changed. Does it sound familiar to you? Many disabled and learning disabled are victims of domestic abuse, without knowing it or being able to speak out. Why?
    They are often socially isolated.

    Also, they might not be capable of seeing a doctor or social worker without the abuser there.

    Or, they may be dependent on the person abusing.

    It is important that they speak out because no one should accept abuse.

    Resources

    The following resources are available for you in UK.
    https://www.anncrafttrust.org/

    https://reducingtherisk.org.uk/

    https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/

  • The Elephant in the room- Disability and mental health

    The Elephant in the room- Disability and mental health

    Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com

    It’s time to talk about another big issue. Don’t worry though, not all the news is bad. Did you know people with disabilities have a higher chance of developing mental health issues?

    decorative image of hand trying to grasp a bright light
    Photo by Luca Nardone on Pexels.com

    This data comes from disability charity, Sense. You can see more about Disability and mental health – Sense

    In 2023, we asked people with complex disabilities about their health and wellbeing, including questions about their mental health. We found that:

    • People with complex disabilities are four times as likely to say their general health is bad or very bad (25%) compared to the general public (5% according to the 2021 general census). 
    • On average, people with complex disabilities have lower happiness levels (6.02) compared to non-disabled people (7.45), according to figures from the Office for National Statistics).
    • Those with complex disabilities have higher average rates of anxiety (5.09) compared to non-disabled people (3.12).

    Additional research also shows that:

    • 30% of people in the UK live with one or more long-term physical health conditions, over 26% of which also have a mental health problem.
    • 70% of disabled people say that social isolation affects their mental health and wellbeing.
    Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

    Personal Talk

    I’ve certainly found disability adding to my struggles in life, or is it down to social barriers?

    Being disabled has left me feeling like a burden on others and unsure of my abilities. I don’t choose to be like this but it is my reality.

    go outside for mental health, the issue for me is having somewhere fun to go. I have found it difficult to make friends or find community locally because am so different to others.

    Yes, there are people who value you and consider themselves friends, but can’t relate to me or my life. There is help though.

    Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com

    Self Care

    There are lots of ways people can care for and support themselves. What works for some may not work for others.

    Many people will say going out and being in nature helps them. The issue for me is having somewhere fun to go. I have found it difficult to make friends or find community locally because am so different to others.

    I use other ways to care for myself. These include watching cartoons, gaming, getting myself a treat, watching a movie and writing/ drawing/ creating.

    Find what works best for you.

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    Resources

    • GP/ NHS app – if you are struggling it is best to get in touch. There are waiting lists for support, but each council has some available for free. You could also get social prescribing through them.
    • Wellbeing apps like Headspace and Calm help with practicing mindfulness. There are also phone journals to document thoughts.
    • Samaritans – this charity runs a 24 hour mental health line
    • Action for happiness – this group offers a wide range of online resources, and run courses across the UK.
    • Mind – one of many mental health charities operating in Britain
    • Specialist counselling for disabled people

    The bottom line to act on here is to reach out, and self care is not weak.